ICYMI: Headlines I Hated From This Weekend

Welcome to the Weekend Roundup! This Week I'd like to show you some truly migraine inducing stories from the unprecedented times we live in.

Oklahoma Schools Will Teach 2020 Election Conspiracy as Fact

Oklahoma, where the facts are made up and truth doesn't matter!

Oklahoma has revised its social studies curriculum to ask students to “identify discrepancies in 2020 election results,” promoting the overwhelmingly-debunked "stolen election" conspiracy. This change was made by Oklahoma Superintendent of Public Instruction Ryan Walters, a sycophant Donald Trump suck up.

Students will be forced to study MAGA lies such as “the sudden halting of ballot-counting in select cities in key battleground states, the security risks of mail-in balloting, sudden batch dumps, and an unforeseen record number of voters.” The news comes as the administration attempts to end “left-wing indoctrination” and “wokeness” in education, and replace the perceived indoctrination with the real kind. Truth has a liberal bias, so of course, republicans want to replace the truth with their lies.

Trump and RFK Jr. Are At Odds

I wonder if it has anything to do with Trump ruining the Kennedy Center's legacy.

Donald Trump and HHS Secretary RFK Jr. are at odds with each other, as supporters of their equally dumb movements MAGA and MAHA are at each other's throats.

The White House has reportedly been frustrated by Kennedy’s handling of the Texas measles outbreak, as well as his inconsistent messaging on vaccines. Some factions of the MAHA movement, meanwhile, have been irked by Trump’s pick for surgeon general, the holistic doctor and wellness influencer Dr. Casey Means, over a perceived lack of opposition to vaccines (not her inactive medical license or crackpot nature). In announcing his nominee earlier this month, Trump said Means has “impeccable ‘MAHA’ credentials.”

Following backlash over her nomination, Kennedy called the attacks “absurd” and said Means is the “perfect choice for surgeon general precisely because she left the traditional medical system.” Next time he has a brain worm, we should make sure his surgeon is one without an active medical license.

A person familiar with a recent exodus of experts from HHS described the situation as an “utter disaster.”

Donald Trump Jr. Was Predictably an A**hole About Biden's Cancer Diagnosis

Donald Trump Jr.’s attempt at compassion towards Joe Biden lasted a mere few hours after the announcement that his “aggressive form” of prostate cancer has metastasized to the bone.

“What I want to know is how did Dr. Jill Biden miss stage five metastatic cancer or is this yet another coverup???”

Former first lady Jill Biden has a doctoral degree in education, not medicine. Since right-wingers share a single brain cell, they assume she must have a medical degree. Many in the MAGA world were quick to fuel conspiracy theories with Joe Biden’s diagnosis.

MAGA Gets Third Strike in Epstein Transparency

FBI director Kash Patel and deputy director Dan Bongino have both stated that in no uncertain terms that the convicted pedophile and close friend of Donald Trump killed himself while awaiting trial in 2019.

Patel stated people “have a right to their opinion,” but that the evidence points toward suicide.

“He killed himself. “I have reviewed the case. Jeffrey Epstein killed himself. There’s no evidence in the case file indicating otherwise,” said former MAGA podcaster and current FBI boss Bongino. “I’m not asking you to believe me, or not. I’m telling you what exists, and what doesn’t,” he said. “If new evidence surfaces, I’m happy to reevaluate.”

This was a huge upset for MAGA, many of whom expected Trump to declassify all information around his deceased pedophile friend.