Pete Hegseth is Getting Blamed for Flop Military Parade

Instead of a “menacing” military parade Trump was humiliated by the army's lack of aura.

Donald Trump's sparsely attended military parade has officially been blamed on Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, according to White House biographer Michael Wolff revealed.

Wolff says that Trump wanted a “menacing” show of force to celebrate the Army’s 250th anniversary and his 79th birthday on Saturday—but got a “festive” parade instead.

“He’s pissed off at the soldiers,” Wolff said. “He’s accusing them of hamming it up, and by that, he seems to mean that they were having a good time, that they were waving, that they were enjoying themselves and showing a convivial face rather than a military face.”

As thousands of soldiers flanked by tanks marched past empty bleachers, social media users pointed out that the soldiers were marching out of sync, the tanks were audibly squeaky, and the overall vibe matched perfectly with the gloomy weather.

“He kind of reamed out Hegseth for this,” the Trump biographer said. “Apparently, there was a phone call, and he said to Hegseth, the tone was all wrong. Why was the tone wrong? Who staged this? There was the tone problem. Trump, he keeps repeating himself.”

“Everybody was actually celebrating, celebrating the 250 years of the U.S. military—probably celebrating that more than Donald Trump’s birthday,” Wolff said. “But it didn’t send the message that he apparently wanted, which is that he was the commander in chief of this menacing enterprise,” he added.

Wolff said Trump had put the word out, via his spokesperson Steven Cheung, that at least 250,000 people were in attendance, a number that is not likely nor provable. “That was from Trump,” Wolff said. ”‘Put it out, 250,000.’” Wolff said the people he knows who attended the event said it was actually “maybe” 40,000.

Responding to the claims, the White House blasted Wolff once again as “a lying sack of s--t” who “has been proven to be a fraud.” Strong words for an official statement coming from the (formerly) most respected constitution in the nation, maybe world.

“He routinely fabricates stories originating from his sick and warped imagination, only possible because he has a severe and debilitating case of Trump Derangement Syndrome that has rotted his peanut-sized brain,” White House communications director Steven Cheung told the Daily Beast.

Publicly, Trump has insisted that his parade was a “tremendous” success even after it was overshadowed by “No Kings” demonstrations across the country, which drew in millions of Americans who protested against the president’s sweeping immigration agenda.

The parade was still on the president’s mind on Monday as he bragged about it to his Canadian counterpart at the G7 Summit. “We had the parade the other day. They said 100 percent chance of rain. It didn’t rain,” Trump told Mark Carney as the Canadian prime minister smiled politely.

Trump’s desire for troops to honor him came in the wake of reports claiming he’d made disparaging comments about U.S. service personnel. In 2020, the Atlantic published claims that Trump had referred to fallen troops as “suckers” and “losers.”