Second Family Ruins Second Vacation

Earlier this week JD Vane's wife was boasting about her trip to Greenland to fix America's image problem. The problem, of course, is caused by Trump's constant threats to invade. Now that trip is canceled and that's probably a good thing - considering nobody wanted her there.

U.S. representatives were reportedly seen knocking door-to-door in Nuuk, Greenland’s capital, to get a temp test on the second lady. The answer? Colder than Iceland. American representatives were seen polling residents to see if people would be interested in a visit from the vice president’s wife. The answer was a resounding 'no'.

“The Americans’ charm offensive mission has failed. They’ve gotten no, no, no, no, no, every single time,” reported TV 2 correspondent Jesper Steinmetz

Usha Vance was reportedly scheduled to attend a dogsled race in Greenland, sharing in a video statement on Instagram that she was “reading all about it with my children” and was looking “forward to meeting” the island’s residents.

“I’m also coming to celebrate the long history of mutual respect and cooperation between our nations and to express hope that our relationship will only grow stronger in the coming years,” the second lady said. Instead, they will visit a U.S. space base on the island’s northwest coast later this week.

Greenland’s government said in a statement posted on Facebook Monday that it had “not extended any invitations for any visits, neither private nor official.”

Turns out countries don't like it when you keep launching aggressive attacks against their sovereignty.

Last month, Georgia Representative Buddy Carter pitched that Greenland should be renamed “Red, White, and Blueland” while handing Trump free license to pursue Greenland under the belief that the territory is suddenly a national security priority.

A late January poll by pollster Verian found a measly 6 percent of Greenlanders were in favor of joining America, giving us an obvious red stop sign.