Another SpaceX Failure to Launch

Just like Elon Musk at 2 am on Twitter, SpaceX's latest Starship spun out of control. During a test flight one of Elon Musk's rockets mimicked his life story - a meteoric rise followed by a prolonged crash.

After basking in the glow of decimating the federal workforce, financially backing neo-nazis, and sieg heiling at the inauguration, Musk has finally decided to take a step back publicly. After weeks of barging into federal meetings and giving interviews from the Oval office, Musk has decided to step back (publicly) from government amid plummeting Tesla sales and sinking popularity ratings.

Musk's latest disappointment came from SpaceX yesterday when a rocket launched from its Texas facility hit a snag about 30 minutes after liftoff. When the spacecraft attempted to release its payload into orbit, the door would not fully open, and the vessel started to spin out of control. Footage streamed by SpaceX showed an intense light show as the spinning ship vented its propellant.

“We are in a little bit of a spin. We did spring a leak in some of the fuel tank systems inside of Starship, which a lot of those are used for your attitude control,” said Dan Huot, a SpaceX communications manager, during the livestream of Starship's test flight.

SpaceX later confirmed on Twitter that the ship underwent a “rapid unscheduled disassembly,” or in layman's terms - blew the f**k up. The same terminology was used in January and March when SpaceX test flights ended in explosions near the airspace in Florida.

The debris will likely scatter in the Indian Ocean, adding to Musk's already massive carbon footprint.

This is just the most recent abject failure across Musk’s empire. And I wish him many more. Tesla has reported sales slumps in several major markets, especially in Europe, which halved year-over-year last month. I guess it's hard to get people to give you money when they know you use it to back far-right authoritarian regimes in their countries.

Musk later took to Twitter to spin the SpaceX flight as a “great achievement.” The ninth test flight got further than the company’s last two attempts, which both resulted in explosions shortly after liftoff, but did not achieve its primary objectives.

He kinda sounds like me during my employee review when I KNOW I missed my quarterly KPIs.