Hegseth and Musk Are At Each Other's Throats

President Elon Musk and Trump's Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth are locked in a battle over military staffing and spending, plunging the already haggard Pentagon even deeper into chaos.

As head of the life ruining initiative DOGE, the world’s richest man is determined to find tens of billions of dollars in Defense Department savings and lay off hundreds of thousands of defense employees. He should try looking in his own, untaxed wallet.

Hegseth has publicly supported DOGE’s efforts, but behind the scenes, is purportedly furious over Musk’s attempts to cut civilians working in military hospitals, shipyards, munitions factories, and schools.

DOGE wants to slash up to 200,000 civilian employees out of 750,000, which Hegseth says would cripple critical department functions.

It doesn't help that perpetually unlikeable nerd Musk is being stood up to by Hegseth, a sentient GI Joe doll with a aging, evil, Ken doll's head attached to it.

Hegseth is hyper focused on restoring what he calls “warrior ethos” to the Defense Department and for that he needs funding, and straight, white, cis men.

Both men also have fabulously messy personal lives filled with "baby mama drama" and more allegations than anyone with that much power should have. Hegseth has been married three times and has admitted to cheating on all three wives, including his current one. Musk has fathered at least 14 children with four women, and his estranged daughter Vivian Jenna Wilson has accused him of being a “serial adulterer.”

Trump has vowed to increase military spending from $850 billion annually to $1 trillion, and at the same time Musk is determined to find tens of billions of dollars in Defense Department savings.

Earlier this month, he even replaced a senior official representing DOGE at the Pentagon because the official wasn’t willing to make deep enough cuts.

Hegseth is also facing other crises at the Pentagon due to a second signal chat full of military secrets hitting the news cycle.

The former Fox News host is facing calls for his resignation after sharing detailed information about upcoming military strikes in multiple unsecured group chats on the messaging app Signal.

He has clashed with career Pentagon officials and frustrated employees at the Defense Department as members of his inner circle struggle to streamline even the most basic functions, like having Hegseth sign off on documents requested by the White House.

Additionally, aides have gotten in screaming matches in his inner office.

His chief of staff Joe Kasper has led meetings that devolved into long-winded stories about his evenings at strip clubs.

In a move I can only describe as a desperate, end of career death spiral, Hegseth’s deputies have been combing Pentagon officials’ old social media posts searching for any signs of disloyalty toward Trump or MAGA.

Three civilian Pentagon officials who had served in combat—including two had been wounded in Afghanistan—were instructed to provide copies of their resumes in order to prove their “patriotism.” I hope they showed them their hospital intake forms.

Hegseth himself has reportedly taken a page from Homeland Security Kristi Noem’s book and threatened to administer polygraph tests to suspected leakers.

Despite these efforts, even Republican lawmakers are calling for Hegseth to be fired this week after news broke that he had shared detailed attack information with his wife, brother and personal attorney.

“I find it unacceptable, and I wouldn’t tolerate it if I was in charge,” Representative Don Bacon of Nebraska said on Monday.