ICYMI: Hey Grok, is Elon High Right Now?

Elon Musk has had quite the weekend. A black eye, more drug allegations, "leaving" the white house, and now he's got incontinence to go with his incompetence. This is the Weekend Roundup: Elon Edition!

Elon Musk is Probably Peeing His Pants

The New York Times has recently released an insane report on Elon Musk's drug use during his time leading the Trump administration, which includes ketamine, magic mushrooms, ecstasy, and Adderall. They've also reported that Musk has used ketamine to such a degree that it has caused bladder problems, which is a confirmed side-effect of excessive use.

Meghan Twohey, one of the reporters on the story explained, “As he rose to political power last year as he joined Trump on the presidential campaign trail, he was telling people that he was doing so much ketamine that it was causing bladder issues, which is a common effect of chronic use of the drug.”

Twohey continued on Musk’s use of substances, including a daily medication box he travels with, which contained “up to 20 pills,” including Adderall, a useful drug currently being demonized by JFK Jr.'s MAHA movement.

Musk told associates, who then reported to the New York Times, that he took ecstasy and magic mushrooms and was a regular ketamine user, which led him to develop the aforementioned severe bladder problems.

In the wake of the Times report, politicians on both sides have blamed Musk’s drug use for his erratic behavior, including his Nazi-like salute during Trump’s inauguration, his brandishing a chainsaw on stage, and his constant incoherent mumbling in interviews.

Musk attempted to smooth over the story during a White House briefing celebrating his departure:

“Is The New York Times the same publication that got a Pulitzer Prize for false reporting on Russiagate—is it the same organization?” he said. “I think the judge just ruling against The New York Times for their lies about the Russiagate hoax and that they might have to give back that Pulitzer Prize. That New York Times? Let’s move on!”

The White House has said that Musk will continue to advise the administration on future policy, albeit in a less formal capacity. Great.

Trump Thinks Elon Musk is "Half Boy"

Trump is now doubting Elon Musk’s ability to cut $1 trillion in federal spending. Uhhhh, bit late for that.

“Was it all bulls--t?” Trump asked advisers about Musk’s "cost-cutting" initiatives under the guise of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE).

Musk has been boasting a BS plan to cut $1 trillion from the federal budget for months, but ultimately managed to cut only $170 billion, according to DOGE’s own calculations, which are still way higher than confirmed numbers.

According to Trump aides, the two were often at odds. Apparently, Musk's unsuccessful humor often confused and upset Trump, who told his aides that Musk was “50 percent genius, 50 percent boy.”

Musk frequently butted heads with Trump’s staff as well, with things escalating to the point that Trump orderes White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles to step up and better manage Musk.

Trump's frustration most likely comes from the fact that Elon Musk's money tap has run dry. Musk has reportedly been stingier with funds after giving Trump $288 million during his most recent campaign. He told Trump’s advisers this year that he would give $100 million to groups controlled by the president’s team before the 2026 midterms. But as of this week, the money hasn’t come in.

Shocking! Elon and DOGE Messed Up the FAA, Not DEI

The Federal Aviation Authority is suffering a staffing crisis that is leaving America’s airspace in disarray, a leaked secret document has revealed.

More than 1,200 employees, including seasoned leaders and technical experts, have walked out of the agency as a result of a deferred-resignation program initiated by Elon Musk and the Trump administration to curb labor costs. Retirements have also contributed to the number of employees departing the agency.

The exodus has fueled concern about the loss of critical expertise and institutional knowledge just before the busy summer season. The walk-outs also include divisions that control everything from legal matters to space launches.

While the FAA assures that frontline safety roles like air-traffic controllers remain unaffected, doubt has been cast on the agency’s ability to fulfill its regulatory duties.

Oh, You Made it to the End!

Here are some videos of Musk behaving oddly that have been used to back up the drug use claims.

Here's a bonus video of Elon groveling so that people start buying his cars again.