It's Not Just You - Trump Officials are Over 'Irritating' Musk

White House officials are showing their humanity! It seems that a number of them are struggling to hide their disdain for Elon Musk’s “irritating” behavior, with senior Cabinet members said to be “deeply annoyed” by Elon's painful sense of humor.

“I have been in the same room with Elon, and he always tries to be funny. And he’s not funny. Like, at all,” a senior Trump administration official said. “He makes these jokes and little asides and smiles and then looks almost hurt if you don’t lap up his humor. I keep using the word ‘annoying’; a lot of people who have to deal with him do."

“But the word doesn’t do the situation justice,” they added. “Elon just thinks he’s smarter than everyone else in the room and acts like it, even when it’s clear he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Musk’s insufferable behavior in the White House has led to several high-ranking officials walking out of important meetings and wondering whether Elon was truly high on drugs. Marco Rubio is rumored to be barely able to hide his immense dislike of Musk and State Department officials routinely call him “Crazy Uncle Elon” behind his back. That's too nice a nickname for the guy destroying democracy.

Musk has been the vocal champion of the purge of federal workforce. Since Trump took office Musk has had only two goals: steal government information and and use federal funds to enrich his businesses. He does this despite never being elected, appointed, or confirmed to hold such a consequential role. Musk is technically a “special government employee,” a designation that allowed him to bypass a Senate confirmation process and avoid publicly reporting his financial holdings.

“Talking to the guy is sometimes like listening to really rusty nails on a chalkboard,” one White House insider claimed. “He’s just the most irritating person I’ve ever had to deal with, and that is saying something.”

Other officials have suggested subjecting Musk to a mandatory drug test, which he has said is a “great idea” for federal employees, as a way to remove him from power. The Tesla CEO has denied taking any illegal drugs, although numerous people claim to have witnessed him use LSD, cocaine, Ecstasy, and mushrooms behind closed doors.

Further irritation has arisen over Musk’s decision to install Starlink internet terminals across the White House campus, and his “nerd army” of DOGE staffers, many of whom are in their early 20s, have become embedded within government agencies and routinely threaten to “call Elon” if their demands are not met.

“Why do these f---ing kids know this?” a DoD employee asked when questioned about Musk's top secret plan to build a space defense system known as the "Golden Dome".

Musk meanwhile, an unelected “special government employee,” has set up an office for himself in a room directlky across from the West Wing, and next to the office of the vice president.

According to The Times, the Musk has installed a “massive” TV and a gaming PC in his office which he uses to play video games. He is said to “hole up” in the government building for days at a time, sometimes sleeping on the couch or at his desk.

His young son, four-year-old X, is also “around quite a bit,” although it is unclear if he also sleeps at the office with his man child father.

“I know Elon probably won’t see it, but I really hope he sees it,” said a future former government employee, right after emailing the billionaire a picture of someone’s rear end and resigning from their role.